mirror neurons

‘Keep slim friends’ to stay trim

I really need to stop using the article headlines as my post subjects, because it ends up being a spoiler for what I’m going to talk about. But, I digress…

We model the behaviors of those around us.

This subject line comes from an article posted Friday on the BBC. I really like this article for a lot of different reasons, not the least of which being that I’m still mentally processing the latest Z-Health 9S Course: Sustenance & Spirit. The article is really common sense – we hang out with our friends because we like them and we are like them. Or, we want to be like them.

Growing up, my Mom always wanted me to have as friends the “good kids”, so was not happy when my first boyfriend was on probation for stealing a car at the time we met. She intuitively understood that my behavior was going to match that as of who I was spending time with in order to be accepted by them. Ironically, I later found out that the reason my then-boyfriend started dating me (a straight-A student) was that he wanted to be more like me.

Behavior extends well beyond hanging out at the mall and doing your homework (or not) and in to eating and exercise behaviors. If you spend you time with friends who get their lunch out of the vending machine, you are going to get your lunch out of the vending machine. As an adult, if you work some place where the culture is to eat lunch out every day, do you start forgoing that turkey sandwich that you brought to grab something with your co-workers? If happy hour is the ritual, do you eventually find yourself giving in instead of hitting the gym after work?

Are the people you surround yourself with emulating the behaviors you wish to have? If not, how are you going to change that to be the person you want to be?

Mirror Neurons

As our population ages and functional MRIs begin to become common, more and more attention is paid to the brain and how it functions. Recently it seems there has been quite a bit written about mirror neurons, including this morning in Wired magazine.

Mirroring behavior, body position, tone of voice, and other characteristics has long been taught as a means of building rapport — in my mentoring program we devote an entire workshop to discussing mirroring and how to use it. Everyone mirrors the people around them, whether they are conscious of it or not. And, some mirror more strongly and more easily than others.

In Z-Health we are always reminded that we need to own the movement because our clients will mirror us. They are learning from us, and will do exactly what we do. In this case, “do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t do any good, because our bodies can’t help it.

I was recently reminded just how true this is with a relatively new client. He mirrors really strongly, and I can tell exactly how good my form is based upon how well he is doing. I’m used to clients doing what I do (and I find most of my bad habits this way), but he has brought new focus to it.

Remember mirror neurons the next time you see someone moving poorly or behaving badly. Are they mirroring you or someone else? And, do you want to start mirroring what they do?

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‘Keep slim friends’ to stay trim

We model the behaviors of those around us.

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